The 411

So, here's the deal. I'm "de mauvaise poele". In spoken French that means I'm in a bad mood. In written French it probably means I'm a bad chicken, because I'm too lazy to look up how to spell poele.

The problem boils down to this: I have an ENORMOUS canker sore on the end of my tongue. It's more like a crater, really. They should categorize canker sores so that anything bigger than 3 centimeters is called a crater sore. In French they call it an Apht, which I think is the scientific diminutive of aphtous ulcer. Again, too lazy too confirm.

I've tried it all, except Merthiolate, which I don't think you can get in the U.S., but I'm fairly certain I saw some at ED about two weeks ago. Why didn't I buy any? I could export that stuff to people like my Dad who swear by it's healing powers.

So anyway, back to my debilitating malady. It just REALLY, REALLY hurts. Like, it makes my crowns ache. And that's a big deal, because I have four on my bottom set of teeth alone. We can blame that on well water, I guess, but that's another story.

It's hard to be awake because my tongue hurts so much, but it is almost impossible to sleep because the pain wakes me up. Eating is a nightmare, and when I'm hungry, Watch Out!

I think the only benefit of this crater is that it may be improving my French. Because when you have a giant sore on the tip of your tongue, you tend to leave your tongue hanging in the middle of your mouth keeping it from touching your lips or anything else that might make it hurt. The result? Lots of air flowing over and around the tongue. Et voila! Better French.

Let me say, it is NOT worth it.


Blogger Janae said...

I'm so sorry! Christopher is just getting over this same problem. He got three small ones that eventually all blended together and he's literally refused to kiss me for a week because of the pain!

Anonymous sabrina said...

Stasha, in spoken French "mauvaise poele" is, for a literal translation "bad pan"... so "mauvais poil" is the good one and in english means "bad hairs", can you remember ? not hairs you have on your head, but hairs you have all over your body !!! ... too funny !

Blogger Dave said...

Janae I hope Kiff's mouth is feeling better. Tell him to email me.

I also had some bad hairs yesterday. The kids just break everything. I can't stand it. It drives me crazy.

And in regards to "bad hair" (and Sabrina's comment), in French there are different words for hair on the head and hair anywhere else. "Cheveux" means hair on the head, while "poil" is hair on the body. The French think it's crazy that in English it's all the same word.

We love these French people even though their language is crazy!


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