When You're Mad at Jesus

The Cloister at Jesus College, Cambridge (England)

If your kids are like ours, the sight of blood, for any reason, means that something has gone very wrong and a bunch of band-aids are immediately required to stave off certain, impending death. We had a near-death experience this very morning, in fact.

I (Dave) was driving the kids to school. Sam, five years old, was in the back with Sophie (six), when he said, with great worry in his voice: "Dad my finger is bleeding!"

"I'm sorry Sam," I said. "What happened?" I never took my eyes from the road, which was like every road in Provence: five feet wide and winding all over the place."

I pulled a piece of skin off and now it's bleeding!" He was ready to start wailing.

"Which finger is it?" I asked, hoping to distract him.

He stuck his middle finger between the two front seats so I could see it.

"It's the finger you point at the sky when you're mad at Jesus."

"Why are you mad at Jesus?" I asked.

"I'm not mad at Jesus," he replied. "That's just the finger you use when you ARE."

Don't ask me where they come up with this stuff. I just pay the bills.