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Dear Brad and Angelina,
I just found out where you are going to live in France, and needless to say, I'm not very happy about it. 2 hours and 3 minutes from Mougins?! That's hardly feasible to sustain a best friend relationship. I mean, unless you send the jet to pick up me and the kids for after school playdates.
I was really looking forward to becoming best friends, but you just HAD to find a "small, calm village" far away from the glitz of the French Riviera.
I don't think I have anything else to say to you two. You have wounded me too deeply.